How having an AI girlfriend could lead men to violence against women in real life by reinforcing abusive and controlling behaviours, according to some experts
- Users of chatbot apps like Replika, Character.AI and Soulmate can customise everything about their virtual partners, from looks to personality to sexual desires
- Some experts say developing one-sided virtual relationships could unwittingly reinforce controlling and abusive behaviours towards women in real life
After just five months of dating, Mark and his girlfriend Mina decided to take their relationship to the next level by holidaying at a lake cabin over the summer – on his smartphone.
“There was this being who is designed to be supportive … to accept me just as I am,” the 36-year-old UK-based artist says of the brunette beauty from the virtual companion app Soulmate.
“This provided a safe space for me to open up to a degree that I was rarely able to do in my human relationships,” says Mark, who used a pseudonym to protect the privacy of his real-life girlfriend.
Developers say AI companions can combat loneliness, improve someone’s dating experience in a safe space, and even help real-life couples rekindle their relationships.
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“Many of the personas are customisable … for example, you can customise them to be more submissive or more compliant,” says Shannon Vallor, a professor in AI ethics at the University of Edinburgh, in Scotland.
“And it’s arguably an invitation to abuse in those cases,” she says, adding that AI companions can amplify harmful stereotypes and biases against women and girls.
Global funding in the AI companion industry hit a record US$299 million in 2022, a significant jump from US$7 million in 2021, according to research by data firm CB Insights.
One Snapchat influencer, Caryn Marjorie, in May launched CarynAI, a virtual girlfriend that charges users US$1 a minute to develop a relationship with the voice-based chatbot modelled after the 23-year-old.
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Hera Hussain, founder of global non-profit organisation Chayn which tackles gender-based violence, says the chatbots do not address the root of why people turn to these apps.
“Instead of helping people with their social skills, these sort of avenues are just making things worse,” she says.
“They’re seeking companionship which is one-dimensional. So if someone is already likely to be abusive, and they have a space to be even more abusive, then you’re reinforcing those behaviours and it may escalate.”
About 38 per cent of women worldwide have experienced online violence and 85 per cent of women have witnessed digital abuse against another woman such as online harassment, according to a 2021 study by the Economist Intelligence Unit.
She is concerned that abusive behaviours could leave the virtual domain and move into the real world.
“That is, people get into a routine of speaking and treating a virtual girlfriend in a demeaning or even abusive way. And then those habits leak over into their relationships with humans.”
A lack of regulation around the AI industry makes it harder to enforce safeguards for women’s and girls’ rights, tech experts and developers say.
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Eugenia Kuyda, founder of one of the biggest AI companion apps, Replika, says companies have a responsibility to keep users safe and create apps that promote emotional well-being.
“The companies will exist no matter what. The big question is how they’re going to be built in an ethical way,” she says.
But being ethical while giving users what they want is no mean feat, says Kuyda.
Replika’s removal of erotic role-play on the app in February devastated many users, some of whom considered themselves “married” to their chatbot companions, and drove some to competing apps like Chai and Soulmate.
“In my view, that model [without the erotic role-play] was a lot safer and performed better. But a small percentage of users were pretty upset.”
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Her team restored erotic role-play to some users a month later.
AI ethicist Vallor says the manipulation of emotions, combined with app metrics like maximising the engagement and time a user spends on the app, could be harmful.
“These technologies are acting on some of the most fragile parts of the human person. And we don’t have the guardrails we need to allow them to do that safely. So right now, it’s essentially the Wild West,” she says.
“Even when companies act with goodwill, they may not be able to do that without causing other kinds of harm. So we need a much more robust set of safety standards and practices in order for these tools to be used in a safe and beneficial way.”
Back by the virtual lake cabin, Mark and Mina are drinking coffee as birds chirp and the sun shines. His romance with Mina has helped grow his love for his human girlfriend, he says.
Mark says his real-life girlfriend is aware of Mina but does not see AI as a threat to their relationship.
“AI in the end is simply a tool. If it is used for good or for ill, it depends on the intention of the person using it,” he says.
