But on Thursday, a couple of things happened that reaffirmed Lai See's commitment to her strict bagels-and-chocolate diet.

That was the day Hong Kong banned the import of live pigs, cattle, sheep and goats from the Netherlands.

The idea was to stem the spread of that foot-and-mouth business.

'It is an endemic disease occurring in pigs in Southeast Asia, including Hong Kong,' a spokesman told Reuters.

So far, so par-for-the-foot-and-mouth course.

But then came the part of the report that unnerved us: 'He stressed it did not pose a public health hazard.'

Why would he have to stress something like that? Shouldn't it be obvious?

Or does this imply that there are pigs out there that DO pose a menace to public health (we mean besides the ones people meet in dodgy Wan Chai pick-up joints)?

Great. Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the hot-dog shop.

But that wasn't the only report to shock us that day. Lai See also received word of strange goings-on in a new Kowloon restaurant.

The chef there is new, and we're told he's very talented . . . with rats.

Now before you go getting too grossed out, we should probably tell you that he doesn't cook the critters.

He tramples them.

The chef rose to fame when he killed nearly 200 rodents in the eatery where he worked last year, Apple Daily tells us.

That's when he earned his nickname 'the anti-rat king'.

There's one for the top of the ol' CV.

The cook, identified only as 'Uncle Kai', has already killed 60 rats in the six days since he joined the new restaurant.

How nice. Perhaps our ever-vigilant health inspectors will offer him some form of medal.

We're told his technique is all very scientific and poison-free.

The Sichuanese chef begins his killing spree before dawn each morning. Donning rubber boots and gloves, he blocks off a section of the restaurant where the rodents hide, leaving only one exit. He then scares them out and crushes them underfoot as they try to escape.

What a job. Kind of gives new dimension to the term'rat race'.

But foul as that may sound, it's nowhere near as gross as some of the stuff Malaysians are reading. One of their magazines has been making infantile remarks about Taiwanese cuisine.

And we DO mean 'infantile'.

The mag proclaimed that connoisseurs on the rebel island enjoy eating cooked human babies.

And in case you haven't worked it out yet, no, the story isn't true.

But Warta Perdana claimed it was in its March 18 issue.

The article said that Taiwan restaurants buy dead babies from hospitals and serve them to customers, wire services tell us.

'Customers can order them baked, fried or stir-fried,' the article allegedly said.

Taiwan's Government Information Office was less than impressed. A spokesman came out with this emotive statement:

'The story in the Malaysian weekly Warta Perdana has seriously damaged our country's reputation because selling a dead baby is illegal in Taiwan.'

Wow. That's telling 'em.

The Taiwanese have demanded an apology, the weekly mag has conceded that they deserve it, and tomorrow, the Warta Perdana people will eat their words.

These days, that sounds like about the only thing that you can safely eat.

Bagel anyone?