But she has much more to smile about, with the solid support of her mother and friends – and her caring fiancé Nicholas Sim, a 25-year-old student who also lives in Singapore.

They met three-and-a-half years ago, after Loh graduated from university.

At the start of their relationship, Sim noticed whenever Loh felt down. He read up on depression and discussed her condition with her so he could identify her symptoms and help her deal with them.

“Her symptoms are worse some days than others, but they never really last long because we find ways to manage them together,” Sim says.

“Our love for each other also makes the coping process a little easier.”

Depression is not contagious, but if you look after or spend a lot of time around someone who is depressed, you may be at a higher risk of exhibiting depressive symptoms, too.

According to Singapore-based psychiatrist Dr Lim Boon Leng, the negative emotions of someone who is depressed can be transmitted to the people around them, and their sense of despair may be projected onto their carers.

Whether you are the parent, child, relative, spouse, romantic partner or friend of a depressed individual, you, as their carer, may share similar risk factors for depression, such as upbringing, culture, stressors, family issues, learned helplessness, and circumstances.

“Not only do carers have to provide support; they may also have to deal with the anxiety of the depressed person’s suicidal or self-harming behaviours,” Lim says.

“Additionally, the change in role, from being a spouse or a child to nursing the depressed person back to health can be hard to adjust to, and the shift in relationship dynamics can be unsettling.

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“At the same time, there may be financial pressures if the depressed person is unable to work and their treatment costs start adding up.”

Carers also often feel guilty, especially if they blame themselves for their depressed loved one’s predicament or if they feel they are not doing enough.

Lim says that this may leave them feeling frustrated with their loved one, worsening their guilt.

“Some carers sacrifice their time and even career to help their depressed loved one. This may lead to a loss of identity, isolation, loneliness and poor self-care on the carer’s part,” Lim says.

Anyone who cares for a loved one with depression must safeguard their own mental health. This will help minimise any frustration, anxiety, guilt, worry or anger they may feel in their caregiving role – and help them be a better carer.

Lim says it’s important to understand that depression is a real medical condition and that a depressed loved one is not purposely trying to make life difficult for those around them.

Carers must remind themselves to be patient, compassionate and empathetic.

“Telling them to try harder or asking them to snap out of it, for example, can be detrimental to their well-being. Do not invalidate them or downplay their feelings,” says Lim.

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“Likewise, avoid saying things like ‘Everyone gets depressed’. Don’t judge them, because they are already self-critical.”

Your loved one also needs treatment to get better, so don’t ask questions like, “Why are you still on medication?” or “Why are you still going to therapy?” This can cause them to give up on their treatment, Lim says, potentially worsening their situation.

He also suggests sharing responsibilities with other family members or carers so you’re not shouldering the entire load on your own.

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“Be mindful of your own needs, too – this means maintaining a healthy daily routine, eating well, exercising regularly and doing things you enjoy,” Lim continues.

“Seeking support from family and friends, joining carer support groups or getting counselling can also help you emotionally.

“And finally, don’t forget to take breaks from time to time and let someone else take over your caring duties temporarily.”

Loh’s loved ones support her in many ways, “from rescheduling my social appointments when I don’t feel like going out, or asking me about my experiences to better understand me”, she says.

But even they sometimes find her depressive symptoms difficult to handle. They get frustrated with her when her thoughts start to spiral and they feel they cannot help her.

She’s also been called a “downer” by certain people with whom she’s shared her emotional struggles.

Loh does not rely only on her loved ones for support. She is also part of Circles of Resilience, a peer-support group run by Resilience Collective, a mental health charity in Singapore.

This community is made up of other young adults who, like her, are in recovery. When they get together, they discuss their mental health struggles and coping strategies.

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Loh encourages her loved ones, including her fiancé, to look after their mental health and get support from others.

To “recalibrate” his emotional state, Sim goes for walks, paints, and takes time out “to breathe and to process things”.

He also reminds himself not to take Loh’s depressive symptoms personally.

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Helping a depressed loved one manage their condition takes a lot of work, Sim says, but the journey can be fulfilling.

“Despite the curveballs I’ve had to deal with, caring for Bernadette has been a positive experience.

“Depression is something that happened to her; it doesn’t define her. I love her and always remind her that I’m here for her, no matter what. If supporting her can help in her recovery then I’m happy to do it.”