Christmas dinner without turkey: the dish has nothing to do with festival’s origins, so let’s celebrate Jesus by eating what he would have
- Japan eats KFC for Christmas and Poland eats fish. Turkey is an arbitrary, Eurocentric dish that is a pain to cook, and not what Jesus would’ve eaten long ago
- Why not instead eat food that Mary and Joseph’s Middle Eastern contemporaries might have had, from barley bread to lamb stew, fish, milk, honey and olives?
They say it’s the most wonderful time of the year. Despite the excess commercialism and Mariah Carey jingle overkill – everybody still loves Christmas.
It is a holiday that transcends religion and culture, and literally has something for everyone. I’ve always found it odd but heartwarming that Christmas lights and decorations are embraced so fully in non-Christian countries.
Mary and Joseph were a Middle Eastern couple; the manger didn’t have lights and jingle bells – these things are the constructs of advertising campaigns. Also, they’d have been hard pushed to get their hands on a turkey in the Middle East back then, seeing as the bird is native to North America.
As for ham, that’s hardly a dish you’d see on a supper menu among the Israelites (Jews generally don’t eat pork). It’s even debatable whether Jesus was, as much as Christian iconography would have us believe, actually white.
In this age where identity and cultural tenets are up for re-examination, perhaps we might reconsider some of our Eurocentric culinary habits. Do we need to adhere to the turkey tradition? Or can we try something new – like taking it back, with Old Testament-style nosh?
If we really want to celebrate Jesus, maybe we should eat his food. Firstly, there should be wheat and barley bread – sorry, no gluten-free Christmases in Bethlehem. For protein, grilled fresh fish was a Galilee speciality.
On the side, there could be eggs, milk, honey, cheese, beans and lentils, nuts and olive oil. If it was a good financial year in the Roman empire, there might even be lamb stew.
Today, many countries have evolved their own Christmassy cuisine too. In Poland, the Czech Republic and Slovakia, they fry a carp as an auspicious, meat-free festive dish. In South Africa, Christmas means malva pudding – a sponge cake drizzled with buttery cream sauce.
Notoriously, the Japanese have been brainwashed by KFC to think Colonel Sanders is Kriss Kringle, and accordingly wolf down extra-crispy fried chicken by the bucketload for their Christmas feast.
Personally, I am fine with the diversity of these food customs because turkey is a terrible Yuletide choice. The meat is dry (which is why you need all that gravy and cranberry) and preparing it is a pain.
As for stuffing, the practice began with Romans inserting spelt, herbs and vegetables into small birds and rabbits. This practice has illogically continued even as the fowl of choice has got bigger.
With a gargantuan bird like turkey, if the cavity temperature isn’t high enough (thanks to all that stuffing) you’re looking at a potential recipe for disaster.
According to the Centres For Disease Control in the United States, thousands of people every year get salmonella from eating undercooked turkey. I also think putting unnatural stuffing into a young, dry bird makes for terrible imagery on a holiday based on immaculate conception.
For some alternative dishes, let’s look to the Three Wise Men. Historic research suggests they came from Persia (modern-day Iran), India and Arabia to celebrate the birth of the new king.
I, for one, am totally down for an inclusive Christmas meal incorporating falafel and tabbouleh, koufteh and saffron rice, and chicken korma and biryani.
Hosanna in highest, indeed.
